and now a word from ...

Dear Friends, 

It took awhile but I got the girl to give me control, at least for a moment of her blog. You know how she is about these things, she hates sharing it - and the same goes for pork chops, just try and get one of those when she's around. 

When I was told we were leaving and moving to the country, I thought I was going to be a dog of leisure.  I pictured a life of basking in the sunshine, strolling our estate etc ... Well let me tell you, that is NOT happening.  I am not a dog of gentility, I am a WORKING man. 

First,  there are the things that just stroll into our yard just as big as you please. The tramp through the yard, they "conduct their business"  in the yard, and just mess up the place. Of course the girl encourages all of this! She feeds them! She puts 2 jugs of water in each of our birdbaths every night, so "our bird friends and deer friends can drink."  It's like she doesn't see the blue jays attacking me EVERY TIME we go out.  I do my best to gather up the food she leaves out for the "deer", but she always catches me. Doesn't she see me marking  every place they go? It's a warning that she and they ignore. 

Then there is the thing she calls the 'armadillo' . He comes out at night. He digs holes in my yard, I've seen him out there, he's been out when we've been out for our late night stuff ... he is slow. I could catch him and I do my best to try, but you know who pulls my leash and says "NO!! THEY HAVE LEPROSY!'  I'm not really sure what that means, but if "crazy" has anything to do with it, well let me tell you something lady, it's catching. 

The girl will tell you I sleep harder now ... because I am working my ass off!  I am dodging "blue jays"  trying to keep "deer" of the property, hunting "armadillos"  and I won't even mention the turkey vulture and that other big bird that think it's a-okay to come on my property ... and did I mention squirrels?  Since the house is bigger my nightly patrols are a little longer, and I swear every once in awhile I see a strange, but very handsome dog in what she calls a "mirror" He needs to get out of my house!  So yeah, I sleep more. 

I also bark more, because there is a lot to bark about. I like to alert her when something is going on in the yard, and since she is "cooking" now, I feel that I need to comment, even though she ignores me. Come on, what was with that cauliflower pizza  experiment, that was never going to work.  My warnings feel on deaf ears.  And sometimes I need to say a few things to my Oma too.     We go over there for dinners on Sundays, and she always gives me some lecture about how I shouldn't  jump up on her pants, because they are new, my paws are dirty ... blah blah blah ... finally I just said, "I'm jumping up on you to give you some doggie sugar! Geesh woman, let's get this over with?"  She started to laugh, like I had never said anything to her before - and then remember I hadn't. So I said a few more things... like could she give me some ham, because  the girl again ... not big on sharing pork products. 

All in all, and please don't tell the girl this, I really like it here. I have things to do, I like taking care of the property.  I love seeing my Opa and Oma - and the girl seems a lot happier too - that makes me happy too. 

I'll fill you in on more later ... 

Yours truly,

Little Man 

Photo Friday - Countryside

The countryside just happens to be in my backyard - I told you there was a wild peacock.  Check out more Photo Friday!

Arkansas M and the Kitchen of Doom

Want to know what else is a new thing  that's happening here? 

I AM COOKING! 

I KNOW!  I can't believe it either! 

Since I am on the weight thing, I've decided to try healthier meals, and things have been... interesting.  So I decided to take a few pictures of my last creation.  Cauliflower pizza.  And you know what? How open minded am I ? I don't like cauliflower, but I think if combined with the right ingredients I will like it. Here I come Cauliflower Pizza Bites... 

My ingredients 

2 cups grated cauliflower

1/2 cup egg substitute

1 cup 1% cottage cheese 

oregano

parsley

garlic salt

black pepper

turkey pepperoni 

So you know shredding cauliflower, not so easy ... and your going to do the whole head of cauliflower. 

Then you have to fry up the cauliflower till it's translucent.  Beware it kinda smells. 

Take all the other ingredients and through them in the blender! And yes, that is a NEW blender. Please ignore the speakers in the back, I was listening to my itunes on the computer. One can dance and cook at the same time. 

Liquify that stuff ... and by the way, I am not a fan of cottage cheese either. But, this is new stuff - and combined it will be good. It's just a healthy pizza alternative, and I do love pizza 

Then you just put it in your cupcake tin and add that turkey pepperoni. Bake at 450 - for about 30 minutes  and  TA DAH!!! 

Cauliflower Pizza ! 

And you know what?  Cauliflower and cottage cheese? I wasn't making that shit up, I don't like them.  They taste worse blended together.  I spent an hour doing all this, taking pictures because I was going to brag about myself and all I got was YUCK. 

However, I'm living with no regrets, I tried something healthy and it didn't work out - it will next time.  I just have to avoid cauliflower.  The deer liked it, Dash was happy to have a turkey pepperoni treat and I learned sometimes you just have to go with Pizza Hut. 

Adventures in Nature

My Mom was telling me a story  the other day. It seems that while she was was on a walk by my house BEFORE I moved  and she saw a bush shaking and deafening moans and groans. She moved closer, ( oh like you wouldn't...) and she said it was a group of black birds doing it.  When she got home and told my Dad, he didn't believe her and actually did a bit of research on line. As stories go it was a good one.  In her telling she was able to focus to weave three of her favorite tropes,  the importance of exercise, the wildlife that I will experience here, and the "he never believes a thing I'm telling him" into one story. 

And I told you that to tell you this.  I am experiencing all sorts of wildlife here. There is an owl in the back forest at night and while I've never seen him I have heard him.  Which makes  today encounter with nature interesting.  I was outside with Dash,  and I heard this big WHOOSH WHOOSH WHOOSH.  My first thought was the same of yours ... SQUIRRELZILLA!  Wait, does Squirrelzilla have wings ... because I hear a huge rustle and the whooshes again.  Immediately I thought of my owl, and from the sounds of it, it was huge. I started to consider  taking dash in right away. I look up ... and it is no owl.  It's a TURKEY VULTURE.

Quick! Name a girl who loves Turkey Vultures more than me.  That's right, you can't. There we were, starring at each other. He was sitting up in the tree looking down on us, and while Dash was looking up surely thinking "Dear God, that thing is hideous!" I was delighted.  Once again, I cursed my lack of camera,  then I remembered cell phone!  IN MY POCKET!   At the same time, Turkey Vulture said "Not today, girl and her little dog."  And he soared away.  So instead of  a Turkey Vulture in my backyard, you get a picture of the tree he was in. 

In case you haven't seen a turkey vulture - here ya go ... 

They are AWESOME! 

My Mom comes over with some peaches. Oh don't think she was just being sweet,  yes I appreciate the peaches, but have no doubt that she was really there to check my pantry and fridge to make sure I don't have soda in the house, which I also appreciate.  I was still giddy with delight  from my sighting so I told my Mom all about it, expecting her to roll her eyes and tell me I was a doof.  Instead, she was smiling and nodding her head. 

"Now you know why I was so freaked out when I saw a group of them doing it in that bush." 

So, who loves turkey Vultures more than me? How about the lady that spent an afternoon watching them have group sex?  Peeping Mom. 

Photo Friday - Dog

Apparently I am the kiss of death with cameras, mine is broke again. So until my birthday, we are cellin' it.  This is you know who about an hour after our walk . He's had a change it attitude since we moved here,  that entry's coming up. 

I know you all like dogs, so check our photo friday for more doggie goodness. 

RISU!

So in true Snow White fashion,  I'm trying to be a good neighbor to my animal neighbors.  I went on line and went to check what was best to feed the deer.   ( they love apples and watermelon rinds) I keep the bird bath filled.  And while all the animals might not appreciated  my failed tuna casserole attempt,  I know the armadillos did. 

I felt that I was neglecting the birds, and as we know Snow white would have never done that, at least not the Disney version, so I bought the cutest little bird feeder and some bird seed, and I set it up all secure in the tree that I see  the cardinals hanging out in.  I went to bed please in the knowledge  that I had done my best to help the cardinals, and the robins.  We have a blue jay in the front yard.  We don't  like him though. He does not believe in "love thy neighbor"  . He is constantly swooping down on us, and screaming at us.  No bird seed for blue jay! 

Anyway, I thought  you'd like to see my pretty little bird feeder, so this morning I went out into  the back yard to take a picture. This is what I found 

WTF?  Not only was it knocked out of the tree, but it was BROKEN. 

BROKEN!!! 

Seriously, it was ripped apart! 

It makes me wonder what kind of beast lives in the forest behind me. What kind of abomination haunts the woods? Is it him that I hear shrieking in the night? 

There can be only one answer....

SQUIRRELZILLA! 

New Adventures everywhere

There are are a lot of new and interesting things here in Arkansas, at least new and interesting to me, and I feel a little like Caddie Woodlawn  - always in search of another adventure. 

I'm doing things I have never done before, like feed the deer. There is a doe that brings her two fawns by the house almost every day. I can watch them out my window, and I help her out a little. Hey, I was raised by a single Mom, I know how tough it is out there.  I leave her watermelon rinds, cut up apples, carrots and veggie leftovers. Eating right is important, that's a lesson I'm learning.  I've been trying a few healthier meals myself. 

Ladies and Gents, may I present tonight's dinner. 

I know what you are thinking "Why, I didn't know you liked zucchini!"  NEITHER DID I!  If you press your face against the computer, you'll see not only is there is zucchini, but also some sort of yellow squash that I don't know the name of, and there a bit of tomato and chicken in there too.  I just heated up some olive oil, added a bit of onion and garlic, threw the other veggies and the chicken in there, added a pinch of Maggi chicken bouillon and BOOM! Yumminess achieved.  (Why Maggi? Because I'm Teutonic that way. Maggi rocks.) 

Arkansas has been a wealth of new experience for me,  screaming peacocks, Nascar crock pots, and zucchini.  

As for tomorrow, who knows - I'm going to Walmart.